lil Baby Frank and the Butterknife

In my dreams...last night.

I was carjacked by a fat, short mexican. He pulled a butter knife on me. In the dream it was funny but really dangerous too.
So I crashed my car into a tree and leaned on the horn (thanks Oprah!)
Lots of old men came to save me.

Skip ahead (or backwards...I can never remember the order of my dreams)...I'm in an orphanage surrounded by nuns and babies. Such cute little guys in old fashioned pajamas. One of the nuns orders me to feed Frank Sinatra. Sure enough, there's baby Sinatra. He was cute and had these really pronounced dimples.
I was rocking him to sleep in my arms and he went for the boob (newborns go to ANY boob they can find and try to suckle. It's the truth. I'm not creepy, I swear)...And I was like, "NOOO baby Frank, you're a silly little guy. You need a baba." The nuns got really pissed and threw him into his crib. Threw him hard.

:-/

So in conclusion, I think I need to not only have a baby very soon, but remain vigilant when locking my doors as soon as I get in the car.

the beautiful snow...is now beautiful sludge...

grey and filthy.
welcome to NJ!
The concrete jungle.
Oh that's north jersey...I'm in beautiful central jersey....where people from north jersey call the pineys (even though the pineys are 50 miles south of me)...they also refer to us as hicks...farmers...etc etc.
Obviously anyone who lives in Central knows we're probably a lot more civilized and in touch than the weird breed of white trashiness that north jersey produces...but hey, arguing with those ingrates is pointless and futile.
And it's NJ..not Kentucky. We're considered an urban state, meaning that we're the only state in the nation whose 21 counties are classified as metropolitan areas...so NO ONE in NJ..not even those all the way out in Salem County, are really THAT out of the CIVILIZATION loop.

Whatever, you bitches :-)
It's good no one reads my blog, or else I'd be getting hate mail from North Jersey folk.




I'm going out to Yardley, PA tonight to meet my new friend Molly. Yay. I'm excited. Nervous too. I always get nervous meeting new people. I'm such a nerdass.

Look at this pretty little lady :-)


She's such a lil monkey...and she did pee pee on the potty for the first time ever on Thursday. I'm so proud of her.

First blog-at least on this service.

I have oh, half a dozen blogs floating around cyber-space. I like to leave my mark...secure my territory in this vast land of INTERNETZ.
No actually, I just really suck at following through with things.
(although, my myspace blog has been going strong since January of 2005...I'm addicted)
I joined blogger.com because my mom has a profile set up on here and she reads some lady's blog also. So maybe we could become a mother-daughter blogging team..or something equally corny like that.

I guess I'll blog some "poetry" I wrote today.
(Note: I don't read poetry and I find it kind of presumptuous and arrogant of me to refer to what I write AS poetry, but I supposed there's really no other way to describe it...so I will let it be.)

-Again-
my eyes are aching,
these colors hurt,
trembling floors,
hardwood floors,
cold beneath my tired feet,
and so unforgiving on my restless head.
windy,
cloudless,
unbearably cold,
the ground lacks life,
the spring of vibrance,
the silent waters rushing just below the surface...
i can relate to it all,
the dull oddities,
the exuberance within the normalcy,
the routine,
the comforting same old,
and the charred and greyed images,
replicated a million times,
sold out and manipulated,
to fit my selfish ways.

you don't matter to me,
i find you funny and weak,
and yet i adore your feigned confidence,
the way you fool me into believing you mean it,
and the way my fingertips trace the lines underneath your skin.
you are my everything,
and I lie when I say otherwise.
you're a nuisance,
a pest,
a constant in my thoughts.
I can't escape your smell,
the softness closing in around a hardness,
masking your true intentions,
the only thing you need from me now.
picking away at my brain,
my sanity,
confidence,
my dignity,
you have chipped through one layer,
and now I am transparent,
I am too delicate to fight you,
stripped away,
layers of resilience replaced by this raw,
bloody, breathing heart,
beating alone,
its own entity,
levitating in a dead shell,
cradled in defeat.
AGAIN.
-Jacqui Rodgers-2008